Progress

Friday 10th August
Loppy: 24+5

Sorry that I've been quiet on here blogging world but it's been a rather manic few weeks, with finishing work and social life!

Our big milestone is that we celebrated V day last Sunday, so Loppy is now a 'real' person (although I don't like that term at all) and if he was to be born now (fingers crossed he stays there for 15 more weeks!) then he stands a fairly good chance of survival, with significant medical intervention. Stay in there though baby, we got lots to do before we meet you

Symptoms/Feelings in the last two weeks

• I'm getting much bigger - waist increased by 2 inches this week to 44.5! - I can notice a visible difference in size - scary!
• Its much harder to sleep now, I'm up most nights about 3 times to wee and Loppy still really seems to like kicking my bladder; I feel most kicks in the same spot just beneath my tummy button on the right hand side, so I think he's still in his preferred position.  Tom says that I've started snoring sometimes at night and its just going to get worse which fills me with a bit of trepidation
• I'm often out of breath and i'm definitely developing that pregnancy waddle
• My stomach and lungs are now up just under my boobs - at least it feels like that!  I'm struggling with a little bit of heartburn and feeling very full most of the time
• I have lots of aches and pains and odd feelings in my tummy - nothing to worry about i'm sure, but i'm just conscious of every single thing!
• I really do get up and down from seats like a pregnant person and make the 'ooooh' and 'ahhhh' noises! - picking stuff up off the floor and reaching for things have become nearly impossible
• Kicks are getting a lot stronger, I can now feel squirms and rolls which are amazing and I can also see my tummy move from the outside, Tom's seen it too - its truly amazing
• Tummy button update - its pretty much level with the rest of my tummy now and last night I think it started to come out even more - is it going to pop?!
• I think I've grown into my bump much more, I've slimmed down (I think) on my face, arms and thighs so I feel better about that, and I feel better about how I look.  Its bothered me way more than I should have really.

Purchases/Plans

• I've now got a bouncy birthing ball which came last night, it is very comfortable, I just have to learn how to sit on it properly and I think it will come in really handy.
• The nursery theme and ideas seem to be coming together, at the moment it has a bit of a spotty 'up' theme, over the rainbow type of mood - I think its going to look lush!  Rocky created a mood board for me, and i'm excited to see it all coming together
• We've got loads of stuff now from Karen and Vic and we've bought a few more bits.  I'm going shopping with Vic tomorrow and with mum and dad on Sunday to buy the pram! - eeek
• We've almost decided on what car i'm going to have, just need to test drive the Toyota Yaris and then I need to decide between that and the Honda Jazz - i'm so excited to have my very first car!
• I've already made some plans for my first few weeks on maternity leave, have got some nice lunch with friends and family and I've got a long list of jobs that i'd like to do - things like sorting out photographs and those little jobs that you just never get round to doing
• Tom bought me my push present - a Ipad! - or PushPad as I like to call it - I think its going to be a life saver for those 3am in the morning feeds, he's also very busy downloading me lots of programmes for me to watch and i'm going to find some nice music and some audio books to listen to.

As I type this I have 5 and a bit working days left, and I've already said quite an emotional goodbye to Ruth, my boss as she's not here next week.  The Ritz really is ingrained into me, having worked here for 8 years - its part of who I am and I've grown up here from a 24 year old girl living with her boyfriend to a married, pregnant 32 year old! For all the moaning that I do about my job, on the whole I have loved it here, I am proud to work for such a magical and elegant hotel and to have formed their Marketing department.  I'll miss working in London and all that it brought me over the years, I really have been very lucky and I will be very sad to leave it behind me.

So onto the third trimester in just 16 days, and the chance to free my mind a bit because i'll have finished work.  I'm 61.8% of the way through with just 107 days to go.

I'm really having a baby!

Love

Helen and Loppy
xx

22+4

At 22+4 with Sparty it was all over by now.  I love you baby boy - you've enabled me and Tom to grow stronger and more in love.  AND you've given us a lovely, healthy Loppy.

I'm so sorry that we couldn't let you grow anymore but I know that now you'll never have to experience any pain, worry or suffering and we would never have to see any hurt in your eyes.  I hope you're happy wherever you are Sparty.

x x x

New Territory

Tuesday 17th July

21+2

We're in new territory now guys after a wonderful (and slightly emotional in good and bad ways) 21 week scan last Friday.

We saw a beautiful baby Loppy with perfect heart on the screen and the scanner lady checked most bits with ease. Loppy was in the same position as before, head to the right of my tummy, with legs out breech across my tummy.  This is clearly the position that he likes to be in.  Knees and legs came up to his tummy frequently, and at one stage his feet were even resting on the ceiling as it were (whoa, what a feeling, we're dancing on the ceiling)

Highlights for us including seeing him yawn a little 'O' shaped yawn on his little face.  Tom saw him take a drink, swallow and then watch the black liquid travel down to his tummy; she zoomed in really close to the lips and face to check for cleft palate and that was amazing to see!

She check pretty much everything pretty easily, five fingers, toes, perfect stomach, kidneys, heart, brain, size, length etc.. Then she attempted to check the spine.

This was where we ran into difficulties as Loppy's chilled out position just wasn't conducive to her doing this, so she asked us to take a walk around, have a drink and something to eat and come back in 15 mins.  I hated doing this, its what we had to do last time and its not nice.  I pretty much knew that Loppy wouldn't move as i've never seen him in a different position to this one.

So I was right and when we came back, no luck.  She then told us that we'd have to come back tomorrow and this is when I got upset.  I didn't want to wait any longer to get the all clear.  I needed to know sooner than that and I couldn't stop myself from pretty much bursting into tears - oh dear :-(

It wasn't a tactic i'd adopted to force anything, but it worked and she asked us to come back in an agonisingly long two hours.  When we returned, he'd still not moved so we did some jiggery pokery and I tossed and turned and ended up with my feet up in the air and head down - oh the dignity! Gravity worked though and Loppy slid down far enough for her to get the three measurements she needed to check for Spinabifida.

So that was it: We were done!  It wasn't quite the walking on air feeling that i'd hoped for as I left the hospital, more of a relief because of the emotion and fear that i'd felt when I thought we might not get all the answers that day.  But as the weekend progressed its just the nicest feeling to know that our take home baby is a huge step closer to us.

So this is new stuff for me now.  We said goodbye to Sparty at 22+5 so I've got a few days to go until then, but as i've mentioned before, our scan with Sparty changed everything, my baby was gone from then all really - so for me, this is all new.

Helen 

x x x 

P.S As we approach our final Sparty hurdle of 22+5 i've been thinking about him more and more, and as this new pregnancy progresses I feel sad that I couldn't have experienced it with Sparty too.  Feeling Loppy kick me and grow inside me makes me very sad that Sparty never got that chance to go any further.  I'm back to the reality again that I couldn't have ever had them both and I just have to thank my lucky stars that Loppy came along and we saved Sparty from any pain, hardship, fear or worse....  

Update Over Half Way

Tuesday 17th July 
21+2

Its been a very busy few weeks in the Elliott household and as I write this Loppy is busy wriggling in my tummy!

We had Rachael and John's wedding on Saturday so had a jam packed Friday - Sunday.  What an amazing wedding, we had such a lovely time and she looked absolutely gorgeous.  I was very proud of my sister and her new husband.  I'm going to blame the pregnancy hormones but I was a bit of an emotional wreck really, especially during the rehearsal when John got particularly choked up practicing his vows.

I wished for a little bit that I could have just not been pregnant for that weekend - it would have been lovely to have had the energy to stay up until the end and to have a cocktail and a few glasses of wine/champagne/alcohol in general! I would have loved to have worn my heels for longer and eaten the chicken liver terrine - BUT it will be a lovely time in my life to look back on and see the pictures of me when pregnant.  Its nice that Loppy features in the wedding.  I was particularly sad at some moments during the day when I thought about Sparty - he should have been there but sadly there was another plan.

The wedding also enabled me to speed up the last couple of days before my two scans this week.

Other symptoms/feelings that I've had since my last post

* Kicks/movements have increased, I feel baby every day now and they are getting stronger - Tom has felt Loppy a few times but he tends to stop kicking when we put our hands on my tummy
* Mum and Dad and Vic have heard the heartbeat with my doppler - a very special moment on the morning of the wedding.
* I'm rounder again and getting out of breath much more easily
* Appetite and food aversions are still the same, feel very full after meals and a little bit gassier (sorry!)
* Getting leg/thigh cramps at night (I think its cramp) which is annoying, Spoke to midwife about it and she said its not DVT so at least thats good
* Feeling a bit more tired again
* Much more difficult to bend down or find a comfortable sitting and sleeping position - my pillows help

Heart Scan Number 2
I was feeling pretty chilled out about the second heart scan, still nervous the night before and morning but no where near how bad I felt last time.  We went straight in to see Dr Carvalho again and before I knew it there was our darling Loppy on the screen, again quite chilled out with his arm up to his face like last time!  She said that he also had his knees right up against his chest as well (Tom said perfect ski jumping pose)

I'm still writing 'he' out of habit, truth is we don't know and I have no idea what Loppy is! - we told her that we're keeping it a secret.  Most people are totally convinced Loppy is a girl - i'm not so sure, I have no idea!

So the words on the report when we left St Georges were:

I can report that the heart appears completely normal

Yay - NORMAL - that lovely lovely word!

Our next scan is on Friday - Friday 13th - but it's lucky for me.  This for me is D Day.  Its the day that I found out about Sparty and its going to be a massive hurdle - the biggest one left, for me and Tom to get through.

I'm feeling apprehensive but confident. Bring it on!

Helen and Loppy
x x x

Sometimes....

Sometimes I miss Sparty so much it takes my breath away and I cannot breathe.
x x x

My Amazing Husband

I don't have a huge amount to write in week 18, but now that I know Tom's reading this regularly I thought i'd write a bit about how amazing he is (happy now baby?)

I seriously don't think I could have gotten through this year without him, he's been my absolute rock, he's been there for me when its all gotten too much (and believe me I was close to the edge of complete melt down more than once) held my hair back when I've had my head down the toilet, worried about me through every scan, hugs me on the sofa, drives me to yoga and various other baby related activities, strokes my head when i'm stressed and the list goes on.

Our first year of marriage really did prove our vows worth - through sickness and health, for better and for worse, as a consequence we're even stronger now than we've ever been and Sparty and his journey allowed us to have us that gift.

I know that this year has been very difficult for him too, and the fact that i'm going to have been pretty much pregnant for about 15 months when this is all done, is not that nice for a lonely husband, so this post is to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.

You are going to make such a amazing daddy and father to Loppy and we both appreciate all that you have done and continue to keep doing for us.

Love Helen and Loppy
18+3

16 Week Midwife Check

My '16 week' midwife check was actually done at 17+3 but never mind, turns out that it might have been better being a bit later as we were able to find Loppy's heartbeat straight away!

I saw another different midwife this time - Leslie, and she's the nicest one so far! - she was much more sympathetic about my situation and didn't hesitate to have a listen for the heart when I asked her too.

She did my blood pressure (all good, and lower than last time) and checked my urine (fine) and then went through my blood results (normal) and then listened for the heart.  She only put the probe on for about 5 seconds and there it was, beating steadily away, it sounded amazing.

I'd been getting slightly panicky a few days before as the flutters and tiny prods that I've been feeling over the weekend has reduced and paranoid Helen was a bit worried.  Typical that in the hours since the appointment, I've been feeling Loppy a bit more - not complaining though.

So the last week or so has been pretty quiet really, not much to report:

* My back ache remains a little twingy
* Sickness has definitely decreased, still have the odd queasy moment but not been sick for ages now.
* Flutters, tummy flips and tiny kicks happening sporadically
* Cravings increasing I think, I love having nice things to drink, particularly fresh lime and soda and non-alcoholic Becks - I think its the refreshing feeling that i'm craving.
* Food wise, I don't think my appetite has changed that much, maybe a little bit of an increase.  I find it hard as when I'm hungry there's not much that I fancy or want to eat.  I still suffer with things that I loved before - especially Chinese that i'm just not crazy about now.
* My bump has stayed the size now for about 3/4 weeks so I think i'm evening out which is nice

I can't think of anything else and those listed above are nothing too much to worry about really.

I've definitely started thinking more about when Loppy will be born now, we've had  little think about names again and also i'm looking at Vic's list more and thinking about the practicalities of having a baby! This is quite a big step for me I think, allowing myself to do this.  I've also bought Loppy's first thing - a gorgeous little white snow suit.

We've got two 20 week scans coming up soon - i'm going to be very nervous for them both, but after that i'll have gotten past the Sparty milestone when we said our goodbyes- i'll be counting that from 20+5, as although we didn't say our final goodbyes until 2 weeks later, that dreaded day was our real goodbye when everything changed.  So once i'm at 20+6 I'll be such a happy girl.

Fingers and toes crossed everyone!

Love Helen and Loppy
17+4